Jacqueline C. Thomas - Romance Novelist

Inspiration

Who Rides the White Horse Now: Feminism and Romance

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I was driving to work recently and had an idea for another romance book. I was so struck by the idea that I actually used Siri on my iPhone to take a voice memo. Let’s face it, Siri is pretty but she’s stupid and rarely gets most things I ask her to do correctly. At 70mph per hour, on the toll road, this idea came screaming out of me. I recorded my words at a feverish pace, trying to convey the emotion and feeling along with the plot. Feeling accomplished, and knowing that Siri will have gotten so much of it wrong, I put my phone down and continued my drive. I will have to decode the jibberish that Siri actually recorded later.

The story idea still ran through my mind with less intensity now that I had documented it somewhere. It struck me that the idea was different because the “knight on the white horse” wasn’t a man, but a woman. She could rescue him! I really started to think about this idea of protectors and manly men who protect their women. Even that sentence sounds sexist to me, and it probably is, but I won’t lie, I love a good book where the love interest is an Alpha male. There is something so sexy about a man protecting the woman he loves… that sounds better. “Their woman”…ick!

The fact that I describe that sort of romance that way illustrates the issue perfectly. I like to think I am a feminist. I take women’s rights very seriously, as well as fighting for equality. I think a lot of women are in a similar space to me. I can only imagine being in a relationship with one of the Alpha males from the great romances I’ve read. No, get your head out of the gutter….. It would never work for me to be the wife of a man like that, we’d run into issues even with a quick romp. A man telling me what to do, even if it was in my best interest, I am just not wired like that. Discussion and mutual understanding are where I am at when it comes to the love interest in my life.

All of this set me to wondering, as a romance writer, where is the genre going when both the man and woman should be riding the white horse? Who rescues who? Is it still even appropriate to make the man the hero? Thinking this idea through I posed the question to my husband over lunch one afternoon. He suggested making the woman the heroine. His story idea went something like this: a man who is married to a terrible woman falls for another woman. The new love interest then has to rescue the man from a bad marriage and an abusive wife. My immediate response was no one would read that. Women make up the majority of romance readers, not many of them want to be thought of as a bad wife. Furthermore, I am going to venture a guess that none of them would sympathize with the husband and new love interest. What is weirder, is that if you turn it all around, and he rescues her from an abusive husband, you have struck romance gold…. weird huh?

I have to wonder if there is something about the way our genders are wired or if it is taught? I don’t want to get into the whole nature vs. nurture argument. I just wonder as a romance author how tastes will change over time. I am really interested to see where the genre goes. I mean is it anti-feminist to write an Alpha-male who throws a damsel (as smart, and capable as she may be) over his shoulder?

What do you think? Let me know in the comments because this is a conversation worth having…

Why Romance Needs Sex of All Kinds- Nicholas!

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Nicholas Sparks made headline earlier this week for pushing his conservative, religious agenda at a school he was involved with. The headlines read “Romance Author Nicholas Sparks…” NO! Nick, if I may call you that. You may call what you write romance, and I won’t lie there have been some great stories, but they aren’t true romance. Who am I to tell you, right? I mean I am an unpublished romance author and you have literally sold millions of books, what leg do I have to stand on?

Well, I am a big romance reader, I have read a lot of romance, good bad and truly ugly. More importantly, I write romance, real romance that is a reflection of real life.  I have even read some of your work but you know one thing is missing, the sex. Now I know that there is a huge market for this type of “wholesome” romance. For many conservatives, reading sex is the same as watching pornography. Nick, I know you will probably never read this and I am just another writer blogging out into the void, and on the very remote chance you do see it, you won’t agree with me.

Writing romance without sex in it is a lie, it is not how life works. Before you the army of purity ring enthusiast come charging out, calling for my head, I was one of you. I embraced the dogma and really lived it until I didn’t. My point here is that not putting sex in your books isn’t real life, nor is ignoring all of the types of sex, and being inclusive. Writing sex teaches readers how to love, on a whole other level. Love as you know is more than holding hands or dancing on a beach, wait was that a euphemism?

Sex is important in romance writing and I will fight for this topic until my dying breath. Sex scenes carry so much more to them than just smut as some would call it. I get that there are some romance authors who think that writing sex is a lazy way to convey emotion in the story. I would challenge that by asking them to write a sex scene, they’re difficult and take skill to write.

Recently, I saw a topic of discussion about intimacy in young adult fiction. There was a massive debate about the appropriateness of there being some light sexual activity included in these stories. I championed, yes! We read books to educate us in so many other things, why wouldn’t we read to learn how a relationship really works. Ignoring sex all together in writing romance really gives a distorted picture of a relationship. Being intimate in those special moments tell you so much about who you are, who the other person or people are, the power dynamic, inventiveness, compassion, sense of humour… I could keep going. Sex scenes are so important, for all genders, and preferences.

Ignoring the topic and leaving it out of romance, won’t make those who have different preferences not exist. They’ll be there, reading my books, and the books of other authors whose work reflects real life, real relationships. Writing sex of all types lets our readers know that as an author, I see you and accept you. More than accepting you, I will stand by you and your right to choose your own lifestyle.

Sex is not evil, at least it shouldn’t be if you are doing it correctly. Sex should not be ignored in romance writing. SEX IS IMPORTANT….

 

My Top Ten Tips for Writing Sex (Revised Post!)

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The first sex scene I ever wrote, read more like a PG13 movie then what the scene needed to convey. One of my first beta readers said it best, she said, “I want to know what the rug under her feels like.” The scene was where two characters were going at it on the bathroom floor. I knew she was right. I sat in front of my computer the cursor blinking at me, saying you can’t do this. Frustrated I walked away. I needed help. I am by no means prudish. I grew up in a house where sex was never a taboo subject. Why couldn’t I write it? I realized I needed to educate myself. Here are my top ten tips for writing sex scenes.

Read Sex:

I thought I had read a lot of sex in various works of fiction and that would be enough. My beta reader who made the comment about feeling the rug suggested reading some of Christine Feehan’s work. I read the first book in eight hours I couldn’t put it down. It was sexy but still told a story. This is how sex should be written. The sex scenes in Christine Feehan’s books and Maya Bank’s books help move the plot along. The scenes convey emotional growth and character development.

Watch Sex:

I know this is a controversial idea for some, and I respect that. I highly encourage watching sex, not just pornography, but favorite love scenes in movies. It isn’t about watching the act of sex, it is for the purpose of watching body movement. It is so important to get body movement correct when writing a sex scene. Pay extra close attention to where the participant’s hands are, this is so important. Watch the body movement. The best sex scenes are detailed, where the author has taken the time, to describe body placement and movement. Vague sex scenes don’t carry the same weight in my opinion.

Read online:

I have always read a lot of fiction, but in doing research to write sex scenes, I didn’t have the time to read an entire book to get to a steamy scene. There are great websites that have compiled all sorts of sex scenes. You can search for the type of sex scene you want to write about and read examples of it done really well. Seriously, Google is your friend here. If you are a little shy, open an incognito window and go for it.

Tone:

I love to read a good steamy love scene but as a reader, nothing is more jarring than when the scene doesn’t seem to fit the characters or the tone of the story. Set the mood for the scene and stick to it, is it passionate, lustful, tender, awkward? My point here is to know the mood literally in the room between the two (or more) characters engaging with each other. It would be jarring to read of a couple who need to make love to each other for character development, going at it against the bathroom wall in a club. I am not saying it can’t be done, but the tone is so important here! Here is an example:

Virginia is timid, quiet, reserved. Carl, her love interest is also meek. This is their first time together, neither with a lot of sexual experience. The scene is in her bedroom. They are young and nervous.

Tone Done Correctly:

Virginia couldn’t believe the moment had finally come. She had waited for so long to be with Carl. Her body shook, she wasn’t sure if it was the anticipation or nerves, either way, she wanted him. 

“I love you so much,” Carl said as he leant down and kissed her soft lips.

“Please make love to me Carl, I want to do this,” Virginia said, her voice cracking.

Tone Done Incorrectly:

We are going to use the same characters and the same setting.

Virginia stipped her clothes from her body, she couldn’t get them off fast enough. She needed Carl inside of her, she missed the feeling. (it is her first time! how would she know what he feels like?)

“I am going to wreck you, I won’t stop until you beg me for mercy,” Carl said as he grabbed the back of her head.

She wasn’t leaving that room until she belonged to him and only him. She would take all he had to give and then beg for more.

 

Does this illustrate the difference? Carl and Virginia are young, and it is their first time. The second example while steamy is out of place for two young, inexperienced partners. See, tone matters.

 

Message:

What are you trying to tell your reader in the scene? I think this is why I love writing romance so much. Romance is a time of great joy usually, that feeling of falling in love is magical. Sex, on the other hand, can hold a lot of different emotions. We are our most vulnerable when we are naked in front of another person. I think when sex is written correctly in a romance novel, there is so much more going on in the scene then just the body mechanics, there is massive character development. My favorite scenes are when characters really fall for each other in the moment of sex, or one partner is tender to another.

Pay attention:

This sounds so stupid to say but it is true. As a writer, you must pay attention to body movement. I follow a lot of fellow romance writers and readers, their number one complaint that the author did not pay attention to the scene. Let me give an example.

Carl swept Virginia up in his arms, he was carrying her to his bedroom. Tonight would be the night that they had both waited for, longed for, imagined. Carl looked down at Virginia’s long flowing locks.

“You are so beautiful,” he said.

He reached up and stroked her cheek.

Wait, what? Did he just drop Virginia or does Carl have a third arm? Nothing is more jarring to a reader than something like this. Pay attention to your characters!

 

Have fun:

Let go, have fun, write out your wildest fantasies. Writing sex is fun. When I first started writing sex, it wasn’t fun. It took me a while to learn the advice I am giving here to you today. I wish I would have come across this article as a resource. My suggestion is don’t get hung up on the technicalities the first time you write the scene. Go back and edit using the technicalities, tone, mechanics and message. Let your character’s really “feel” not just physically but emotionally too.

Read what you wrote:

You are the first reader of the story your characters are telling. Read the sex scene you just wrote. Does it make sense to you? Pay attention to the mechanics, did one of the characters grow another arm like in the example above? Doe the tone of the scene fit with the story you are trying to tell? I have written the steamiest scenes and then went back to re-read the scene and it just doesn’t fit. This is where a good note app does wonder. I have scrapped scenes for this reason, and archived it, for later use.

Vivid imagination helps:

I love to put myself in the scene, not necessarily as a participant but more like a fly on the wall. Before I write the scene and during, I like to imagine the setting, the characters, all of it. I think of it this way, if it were a movie would the audience want to watch it?

Don’t be embarrassed:

I am not a prude. I was raised in a house where the topic of sex was an open and ongoing conversation. I consider myself very blessed to come up in a house with such a liberal attitude towards sex, yet when it came to reading and writing sex for the first few times, I was nervous, even embarrassed. I didn’t realize this at first but after I did, I knew I was going to have to overcome it to really write the scenes my characters.

 

I really hope this article helps those of you who are looking for tips on how to write sex. I know these tips have helped me hone the craft of writing truly great sex scenes. If you have a tip that you have not seen here, please share it in the comments.

“Well All Romance is Garbage,” she said.

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I know that I am luckier than most to have a great support network, not just in life, but when it comes to writing. I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my own preconceived notions and prejudices when it came to the romance genre. In a lot of ways romance as a genre gets a bad rep, as being fiction without any value, or to some as simply stated…garbage. Garbage. That is quite the word to describe anything in life To me it means, nasty, unwanted and without any value.

I was recently at a gathering with a group of women that I am honored to call my friends. One of the newer friends in my group didn’t know that I wrote fiction. The conversation went something like this as she asked from the far end of the long table we were seated at.

“Oh, you write? What do you write?”

I replied, “Romance, contemporary romance, you could consider it fiction too, with a romantic element.”

“Ugh, all romance is garbage.”

 

Yep, folks, you read that right. Now I don’t know this woman very well and rather than be offended, I was intrigued.

 

“Well is there something about it, in particular, you don’t like?” I asked.

“You just don’t need sex to move a story along. There just doesn’t have to be a romantic aspect to move the story.” was the response I got.

“I agree with you,” I said. “So you don’t like romance because it has sex in it?”

“No, it’s just all garbage.”

I still wasn’t offended. I pressed on further and asked what this woman did like to read instead. When she gave a string of popular authors, I did not judge her. The works by the authors she mentioned were legitimate and had brought her hours of entertainment, but let’s not kid ourselves here folks, she was not naming literature, but popular fiction. Again, I am not judging her on her choice of fiction that she prefers to read. Who am I to judge?

So as all millennials (I hate that I fall under this category) do when I encounter such an awkward conversation, I had to tweet about it. I apologize if this makes me insufferable, I tweeted the condensed version out to a writing group on Twitter. I had not felt personally attacked, I was just amused by the whole interaction. I will still continue to be friendly with this person, even though in her opinion, I write garbage.

My point in sharing this interaction, aside from my fascination with the social cues, norms, and taboos broken in polite conversation, is that romance shaming is still alive and well my friends. In time I believe this will change, I know it will. Women’s fiction has always been judged unfairly. I think it is because it is written for women specifically. I think this attitude is a holdover our misogynistic society. As the second women’s movement continues, women are owning their sexuality and being proud of their sexuality in bold ways. I think that romance and all fiction written for the female audience will gain more respect and understanding.

(to the friend mentioned above) Friend, if you are reading this post, don’t worry girl, I still like you.

My Top Ten Favorite Romantic Movies

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My favorite Friday nights while I was in school were, when I would go to the library and check out a bunch of old back and white movies, order a pizza, put on cozy jammies and watch movies all night. Because of my local library, I got to see so many great romance films. Since then I have seen so many more. Believe it or not, I am not usually a huge fan of romantic movies or romantic comedies, but there are a few, that I really do love. I have put together my top ten list of my most favorite romantic films. They are not in any particular order.

Moulin Rouge (2001)

I went and saw this movie with my mom at a second run movie theater. I remember being blown away by it. I had not seen a modern musical before and was swept away by the choreography and music. Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman have chemistry in this film. The love story between the two characters is almost palpable. It is easy to get swept away with the dramatic romance.

 

Pride & Predjudice (2005)

The first time I saw this film, I told my husband I hated it. He looked at me like I was crazy. I know, I know, not only should I have my anglophile membership card revoked for this statement but my romance writer card as well. Since then, I have really grown to love this film. I love that the story between Lizzie and Mr. Darcy is not easy, it is a bumpy mess, like life. This film is also a love letter to England, really giving the viewers the visual feeling of England.

Casablanca (1942)

This one has it all and unrequited romance, sacrifice, chemistry, and heartbreak. I discovered this gem one night in middle school during one of my Friday night movie binges. What amazes me about this film, is each time I see it, I see something different, interpret it differently. I think it is because my own romance is maturing and growing. If you watch no other film off of this list, this is the one to watch!

Brief Encounter(1944)

I only saw this film a few years ago. Some British friends of my husband and I asked if we had ever seen it, and we had not. We found a copy and it became an instant favorite for the both of us. This is the story of an emotional affair. It is so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. It is a true lesson in romance.

Brooklyn (2015)

I love everything about this movie. I like to imagine this is what my own grandparent’s romance was like. My grandmother was Irish and my grandfather was Italian. Growing up we were told how taboo their relationship was, an Italian dating an Irish woman. I know their relationship was nowhere near as glamorous. I love this sweet movie. There is something very innocent about this story.

Working Girl (1988)

I love this movie because it shows two types of love, one that is easy and not good for you, and the one where you have to stretch yourself and grow. Harrison Ford is irresistible in this movie. Spoiler Alert: The way he sticks up for his love at the end of the film…swoon!

Moonstruck (1987)

Again, this movie is a cultural touchpoint. This was one of my mother’s most favorite movies. The scene where she gets ready for the opera is one of the best examples of self-care I have ever seen. I love everything about this film. If you watch it for nothing else, watch it for the ending! Family, culture and true love…. User note: a bottle of red wine is a must to enjoy while watching this one!

Pretty In Pink (1986)

This is another one that was one of my mom’s favorites. I grew up watching this one. When I got older I had a “Ducky” of my own. So sweet and innocent, this love story mimicked one of own. It is also a study of a time that is long gone. I love this coming of age love story, where emotions are raw and lessons are learned.

City of Angels (1998)

Would you give up everything for the woman you love? What if it meant giving up being an actual angel? I will admit, this movie has not aged well. I was obsessed with it when it first came out. The story of sacrifice for the love of your life is on full display in this one.

Earnest and Ethel (2017)

This is the full-length animated feature of Raymond Briggs’ parent’s love story. It tells the story starting in the pre-WWII years through to the end of their love story. It is sweet and honest. Ethel, the wife, is so sweet in her desire to have things be proper and her husband Ernest, is so eager to please her. This is really the sweetest story. We watch it every Christmas night together cuddled up on the couch, my husband and I.

 

These are just a few of my favorite romance movies. I know I have left some big ones off of the list but these are my top ten. What are your favorites? Let me know int he comments.

How to Write Your Best Work

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Self-care takes lots of forms

Nothing is better then when the words are flowing through me, and I can’t seem to get them on a page fast enough. When I am in “writing mode,” the world drifts away and it is just me and the page in front of me. I am completely immersed in a world I have created. Sometimes, if I am lucky in my busy, loud life, I can do this for  hours. I emerge from the other side of this writing haze and realize I have wrote through lunch or dinner, or both, my bladder is bursting, and my leg has fallen asleep. I stand out of my chair as pins and needles race up my leg and I hobble to the bathroom, then to the kitchen for any food I can get into my stomach quickly because I am now starving. Sound familiar?

When I am engrossed in a project, it consumes me, even when I am not physically working on it. I am always thinking about it. I have also gotten stuck, I mean really stuck, or written myself into a corner. It is like a puzzle I sometimes can’t figure out which makes me nuts too. I often lay in bed at night thinking of characters and plots, or even dreaming about them. I try to have a rule of moderation in all things in life, but I think writing at least for me, is something that I have to be all in, or all out of when I am really working on a project. Along the way I have learned a few things for good writer’s self-care.

Exercise: This doesn’t have to be strenuous, but you should get the blood pumping. I love to walk when I have writer’s block, moving my body, changing the scenery and getting outside really does seem to help. I am sedentary when I am writing, my butt is in the chair. I know I could use a standing desk, but it’s not for me, at least not when I am writing. Move your body, it might move your plot along!

Eat Right: I know this is easier said than done. My nutrition seems to tank when I am writing. I begin to live on things that can be cooked in the microwave, or toaster. What can feed me quickly so I can get back to work. I now know that if I am digging into a big project that I need to plan ahead for meals. I will wash and cut up fresh vegetables and stick them in the fridge, then they are just as easy to grab as an unhealthy snack. Keep healthy foods at the ready and make sure to drink lots of water.

Sleep: Writing when my entire house is asleep is a special and unique experience. My dog sleeps at my feet as I type away. The light of my screen and my solitary desk lamp light the room. This is a feeling that easy to get addicted to, but then like most indulgences, the next morning is rough. I wake, after sleeping a few hours, to happy energetic kids who could care less that I filled a plot hole and now I need to sleep, they want breakfast and a trip to the park. I have burnt myself several times this way and I have learned that it is not the best idea to write well into the early hours of the morning.

Cleanse Time: This isn’t a new age spa treatment. After a long day of writing, or after completing a tense scene. I need some time for my brain to rest. I have to go find an activity that doesn’t require problem solving or strategic thinking. Some of my favorite things to do to rest my brain; watch a comedy, cook, knit, work in my yard. I find these tasks to be relaxing and they recharge me so I can go back to writing.

Read: I love to read! I was late to the reading game, as I have said before in previous blog posts, but I am making up for it now. I am always reading. While I am working on a project, I like to pick a fun piece of fiction to read. I generally try to read in the genre I write in but, I read all sorts of fiction. I do have one rule, as I write primarily romance, I will stay away from any story that has any resemblance to my own work in progress. I do this out of respect for the author. I know that it is said, that imitation is the biggest form of flattery, but I don’t think that holds true in this case. I want to respect the identity of another’s work, and not have it bleed into my own.

Community: Plug into a support network. I am luck to have a sister and a husband who are both excellent writers. My support network knows the ups and downs of writing and how much it really takes out of you after a long day of writing. I know I am very blessed to have a good network like this. I have also found more recently a great writing network on Twitter. There is a very active and robust writing community there. It is great to connect with others who “get it.”

Remember when you are writing or working through writer’s block to take care of you. Your characters rely on you for their voice, if you aren’t in the best shape, then you do them a disservice. Take care of yourself and write on!