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Archives for July 2019

McKinley Park Chapter 19

July 30, 2019 by jackiecthomas 1 Comment

***Warning! This chapter describes sexual violence******

Ben pulled up in front of Rachel’s house.  Marty grabbed Ben’s arm before he got out of the car.

“You have got to calm down, man. You go in there all upset, with Rachel’s past, you’ll scare the hell out of her and mess things up. Just chill.”

Ben knew his partner was right. Rhett was the sort of man who would say something like that to get a rise out of him, but he was also the sort of man who would be forceful with Rachel. He thought back to that morning with Laura and her talk of Rachel having an affair.

“Look if you go knocking on the door after midnight you are going to wake her whole house.”

“I just have to know she is okay. She would never sleep with him willingly.”

Ben walked away from the car. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The house stayed dark. He knocked again, and waited, still no answer. He had given her a key to his house, but they had meant to get him a key for hers and had not got around to it yet. He walked back off the porch. He picked up a small pebble out of the neighbors’ yard. He threw it at her bedroom window — still nothing.

“Ben, come on, she’s probably asleep,” Marty said.

“I just need to know she’s okay,” Ben said as he went back for another rock.

Marty flipped the lights on top of the car and let the siren loop twice. Rachel’s light turned on. Ben felt a wave of relief that she got up and came to the window. She opened and looked down at Ben standing on the sidewalk in front of the house and Marty hanging out of the car with the door open.

“Ben, what’s wrong? Are you drunk?” She asked, confused at the sight in front of her house.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked.

“What?”

Ben felt like an idiot. Rachel shut the window, and they watched the hall light come on, that could be seen through the front door. The porch light switched on, and Rachel opened the door. She stepped out onto the porch, her robe wrapped around her. Ben walked up to her and pulled her close to him so he could see her more closely.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I was asleep. What the hell is going on?”

“You two good,” Marty asked.

Rachel looked around Ben and waved.

“We’re good,” Ben said.

“See you in the morning. I’ll come by and get you. I am taking your car home.”

“Okay,” Ben said, still not looking at Marty.

He looked at Rachel’s face over for any signs of injury. He looked deeply into her eyes and knew that Laura had to have had her facts wrong; there was no way Rachel could be capable of the things she had said. Rachel still couldn’t have sex with the lights on, that did not sound like a person capable of wild sex. Marty pulled away, leaving Rachel and Ben on the porch.

“What is going on, Ben? You are scaring me.”

“I ran into Rhett tonight. I thought he had hurt you.”

“Honey, he isn’t supposed to be anywhere near the boys or me. I would have called the police if I had seen him. You are really shaken up. What did he say to you?”

“It doesn’t matter, as long as you are okay. You didn’t see him tonight, did you?”

“Of course not. I took Evan to Karate and went to the grocery store. Come upstairs; you look exhausted.”

“I am. But we had a break in the case tonight; some woman beat the hell out of the guy that keeps attacking all of these women.  We are going to get this monster, his days as a free man are numbered.”

“Ben that is excellent! That is good news. I am glad he got some of what he deserves. Is the woman okay?”

“Yes, she’s tough.”

“I am glad she is okay. Come to bed, honey.”

“I should run home real quick, feed the cat. Oh, shit Marty has my keys, they’re in the ignition.”

“I fed the cat, when I didn’t see your car by ten, I went over and fed him. I hope that is okay? I used the key you made me. Man, you are tired. Come upstairs.”

Rachel ran her hand across Ben’s cheek, feeling the stubble that had grown on his chin and pulled his lips down to hers. Her tongue brushed his lightly. He pulled her in close and held her tightly. He usually didn’t; he did not want to scare her. He had to hold her; it was the only way for him to register that she was okay. She pulled away gently and grabbed him by the hand, leading him into the house an upstairs to bed.

Ben walked in the bedroom and found himself looking for signs that sex had happened there earlier. He hated that Rhett’s words were still reverberating in his head. The mental image of Rhett and Rachel together earlier in the night made his stomach churn. Ben kicked off his shoes and sat on the bed as he emptied his pockets onto the nightstand. Rachel walked out of the bedroom. Ben undressed and locked his gun, in the small gun safe he had bought since he had started staying over. He did not want a repeat of the gun debacle with Luke ever again.

Ben laid down on the bed and rolled into the pillow as he took a deep breath, trying to smell any trace of cologne. He hated himself for it. The sheets smelled like Rachel’s soft citrus scent. He closed his eyes and woke a few minutes later to Rachel gently shaking him awake.

“Hey sleepy, I made you a quick snack. I didn’t know if you would have stopped for dinner tonight. You don’t have to eat it if you are too tired.”

Ben opened his eyes to see a sandwich and a glass of milk on the nightstand. He smiled as he reached out for her to pull her close to the bed. His hand hooked around the back of her legs. He knew she didn’t like to be touched there, but in his half-asleep state, it did not register. Rachel instantly went rigid as she pushed Ben away. Her reaction jogged his conscious; he let go immediately. He sat up. She had not had that strong of a response in a long time to his touch.

“Rachel, I am sorry, I wasn’t awake.”

“It’s okay; I am okay.” She said out loud, but her face showed fear.

Ben stood up, and Rachel took a step back, away from him.

“Honey, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. “

He could see tears welling in her eyes.

“Rachel, please don’t cry. Honey, I’m sorry.”

“I know I’m fine… Just ignore it. Let’s go to bed; it’s late.”

She walked around the bed, deliberately away from Ben’s reach and climbed in still wearing her robe. She leaned up and switched off the lamp on her side of the bed. He wanted to know the story, he was trying to be patient, but he knew there was something that Rachel had not told him. Between sex with the lights off, and the things with her legs, he had never seen her fully naked in the light. He wanted to ask, but he also wanted to be respectful. He climbed into bed and took a bite of the sandwich, to not hurt her feelings. He took three big gulps from the milk, set the glass down, and switched off the light. He knew she was more likely to talk in the dark. He moved closer to her in the bed, but she had laid facing away from him. She did not like to be held from behind. She would lay on her back if they snuggled up together. He put his hand on her arm lightly.

“Honey, please rollover, please talk to me.”

She stayed quiet.

“Rachel, please.”

She rolled over onto her back. Ben reached up and caressed the side of her face; he could feel her cheeks were wet with tears. He leaned in and kissed her softly.

“Honey, I am really sorry.”

“Please stop apologizing. I know you didn’t mean to.”

“Look you don’t owe me any explanations, but there is a reason why you don’t like to be touched there. Can I ask why? Regardless of your answer, I will always respect your wishes. Whatever happened won’t make me love you any less.”

“Ben, I can’t. I’m sorry. I just, I just can’t say it out loud. I’m not ready.”

He knew to back off, he had helped enough victims of sexual assault to know when to back off but he really wanted to know, he loved Rachel.

“I would like to know someday when you are comfortable to tell me why you react that way when I touch you there. When you are ready honey, I will be there to listen, whether it is tomorrow or fifty years from now, on your timetable, not mine.”

He leaned down to kiss her again. She looped her arms around his neck.

“Ben, I love you. You are such a good man. I am sorry I have all of this baggage.”

“I love you too. I am sorry you had to go through whatever it is you went through. I want to spend the rest of my life, loving away your hurts.”

She kissed him again. He laid back on his back, and she rolled over and laid her head on his shoulder. Ben closed his eyes and fell asleep in no time.

“Ben, Ben, are you awake?”

Ben opened his eyes; the room was still dark. He reached over for Rachel and felt her waist. She was propped up on one elbow facing him.

“Hmmm?” Ben said half-awake.

Rachel laid her head on his chest. Ben began to stroke her soft, brown hair as he woke completely.

“What’s wrong honey?” He asked.

“You are right; you deserve to know. I am just not sure if I can talk about all of it.”

“I am willing to listen to whatever you want to tell me.”

She looked up at him.

“I think I can tell you some of it, but I may need a little scotch to get the courage.”

“Okay, do you have any?”

“Yes, downstairs in the cabinet in the dining room next to the wine rack. I’ll go get some.”

“No you wait, I will go.”

Ben got up and crept downstairs. He grabbed the bottle and two rocks glasses next to the bottle. He brought it all back upstairs and switched on the light. They both winced at their eyes, adjusting to the change. Ben poured them each a moderately sized pour and handed Rachel’s to her. Her cheeks were already tear-stained. Ben sat down on the bed softly and leaned back.

Rachel took a deep breath and then a generous sip of the scotch.

“Becky doesn’t know any of this; I don’t want anyone to know. I’ve never said anything because I don’t want the boys to know either. I couldn’t handle them knowing.”

She looked up at him, needing unspoken consent that he wouldn’t share her deepest secret. Ben nodded. She took another large sip. And rested the glass in the palm of her hand.

“A while back you had asked about Rhett and I in the bedroom. He was not..” She stopped and took another sip of the scotch. “He wasn’t always a violent man; he used to be tender and sweet. At first, it started with more adventurous sex, after he got his job working for his first real firm. He said it took the stress level down. I had just had Tommy and the fact that he still found me attractive felt good.” She sipped from the glass again. “Looking back, it was pretty tame stuff, but it felt adventurous to me at the time. I went along with all of it, and it seemed that soon, what was doing it for him, wasn’t anymore. The sex got rougher.  Around that time, I started to suspect that he was on drugs, some sort of pills. He’d get real riled up and aggressive out of nowhere.

I got pregnant with Evan, and I thought things would tone down a bit.” Her voice cracked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“It got so rough; I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. I told Rhett that we had to tone it down while I was pregnant. He started telling me that if I couldn’t give him what he wanted, he’d go elsewhere. I wanted my marriage to work. He told me how good of a wife I was to him, and how it eased his tensions.”

Rachel wiped her nose with the sleeve of her robe.

“Soon, it didn’t matter if I was a participant willing or not. I was so afraid Evan was going to get hurt while I was carrying him, that I went along. It was less dangerous to fight him off than it was to give in. The first time he hit me was over an argument about sex. I was holding Tommy and pregnant with Evan the first time he hit me. For the next week after that, he was the man I fell in love with. He was amazing. I thought we had turned a corner.”

Tears streamed down her face. Ben scooted closer to her.

“After Evan was born, he didn’t even wait the six weeks I was supposed to wait. I knew then that I wanted out. From there, things spiraled out of control. He brought a friend from work.”

Rachel tipped the last of the scotch back. The tears streamed down her face.

“I was against it; I didn’t want any part of it. He was just supposed to watch Rhett and I. The first night it happened Rhett took me out to a nice dinner. We had a lot to drink, too much. I didn’t know what he had planned. That night when we got home, his friend didn’t want to watch, he wanted to participate, and Rhett was going to watch. All I could think was how is my husband okay with this, I wasn’t… I don’t remember a whole lot of that night; I get bits and pieces that come to the surface but, I can’t put them together. I know I tried to fight, but I didn’t succeed.” She took a deep breath. “That is why I don’t like to be touched from behind in any way. The next day Rhett went out and bought me my van as a gift. He told me I was the world’s best wife. That it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen and how amazing I was as his wife. He told me that it made him love me more, that I would give him that gift. I felt so dirty, so used.”

“Rachel, whoever this man was, he belongs in prison right next to Rhett.”

She shook her head, “Ben, I can’t. I can’t re-live it all again. I know you are right. I have had a lot of therapy to work past all of this. No one knows I have been seeing a therapist for almost six years now. I couldn’t tell Becky; I couldn’t tell anyone. You and my therapist are the only two people on earth who know, other than Rhett and his friend.”

“Rachel, you can’t let them get away with this. Rhett is a violent man, and his friend, is a rapist, they’re both rapists.”

“I know, but I can’t, Ben. I’m not strong enough.”

“You have me; I will be your strength.”

“Ben, please, no.”

“Honey, I am not going to push you. I know it took a lot to tell me tonight. Just think about it okay?”

“Ben, I think about it every day of my life.”

“No, I know you do, I mean think about prosecuting those assholes.”

“I told you because I want to move past it, I want to let you hold me without panicking. I don’t want you to think that I am cold to you or that I don’t love you.”

“I would never think that. Come here.”

Ben pulled her in close to him. They leaned back against the headboard, and Rachel laid her head on his shoulder. Ben wrapped his arm around her and stroked the side of her face with his other hand. She cried quietly as they laid there, watching the sun come up.

“I need to start to get ready and wake the boys.”

“Honey don’t go to work today; you are in no condition to teach today. I will take the day off too; we will spend it together, okay?”

“Routines are important to me.”

“I know they are but, have you slept at all? Emotionally, you are drained.”

“What about the boys?”

“I’ll take them to school this morning. Call in and say you need a personal day?”

“Yes.”

 

Filed Under: McKinley Park Tagged With: McKinley Park

How to Get to Know your Characters

July 26, 2019 by jackiecthomas Leave a Comment

Getting to know your characters should seem like the easiest thing in the world to do for an author, after all, you’ve created them. I have seen a lot of questions asked lately in the Twitter Writing Community about how to get to know your characters. I believe that you can have the best plot in the world that draws readers in, but if the characters are well-rounded and fleshed out the whole work will flop. I want to share my tips on how I do my best to create vibrant characters.

I am not a planner. When I start writing a novel, I don’t have the plot all mapped out. I usually have a loose idea of the climax and I build the story out around it. Next, come the characters. Like the narrative, I usually have a loose idea of who they are. I imagine them, with just the basics and I begin to write. It is during the writing process for me that I begin to hear their voice come through in the writing.

For example, look at Ben and Rachel in McKinley Park. I knew Ben was a police detective and I wanted Rachel to be a single mom. I started with the most basic aspects of who they are. After a few chapters, I can begin to see their voice and this influences more of who they are. When I started McKinley Park, I didn’t know Ben was one of three brothers, like Rachel’s boys. As I wrote their fist date and needed the two connect this idea spoke to me.

It is usually around chapter 3 or 4 that I really begin to get to know my characters. It is at this time that I pause for what I call a character interview. I know this sounds nuts but I swear it changed my writing for the better. I basically interview the character asking questions like:

What is your favorite food?

Where did you grow up?

What was your home life like?

What is your favorite feature about yourself?

(Because I write Romance) Why do you love X?

What do you do for fun?

I ask these sorts of questions of my characters and I walk away knowing them much more intimately. I am able to continue writing on in the project really knowing who my characters are. I know their likes and dislikes, some of their past and a lot more.

In the first book I ever wrote, I dreamed the story first so my imagination had already done the work for me of physical appearance. I find that for me, physical appearance usually comes in later. In McKinley Park, I had a rough idea of what Rachel looked like, slim, busty, with dark brown hair and green eyes, and soft, pink lips. Rhett, her ex, his appearance came to me very early. In the spirit of honest conversation, Ben’s physical appearance was a mystery to me through so much of the book. I kept asking him, what do you look like? No joke, it wasn’t until the last few chapters that I got an idea of what he looks like. Physical appearance is not the easiest for me and it is a common criticism that I hear from my beta readers. I am trying to work on my interview questions to include more of this information so I can get a better idea of what they look like.

I also like to imagine my characters in different situations outside of the plot. I like to imagine what their reaction would be. For example, what would Rhett do if one of his son’s puked in his fancy car? What would his reaction be? I love this exercise, I feel like not only do I get to know the character better but it is like cake for my imagination, yummy and indulgent. I find that I do this best right before I fall asleep. I set the scene and let my character loose as I drift off to sleep. Seriously, try it, it is awesome!

There are lots of ways to get to know your characters. Make the time to do it, your work will be so much stronger for it. Try your best to take yourself out of the equation and let them speak, you might be surprised at what they have to say. I know I have been for sure in the past! I have included a few links below of good resources for getting to know your characters. Take a look. Fellow writers if you have any tips or tricks getting to know your characters please share with the class in the comments.

 

https://www.writinglaraferrari.com/101-character-questions

https://rachelgiesel.com/blog/how-to-really-get-to-know-your-characters-a-questionnaire

https://www.livylynnblog.com/2017/11/03/questions-get-know-character-cheat-sheet/.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Romance, Writing Tagged With: First Book, Inspiration, McKinley Park, Plot, Romance, Writing

McKinley Park Chapter 18

July 23, 2019 by jackiecthomas 1 Comment

“Have a great day honey. Good luck with school today, boys!” Ben said after he kissed Rachel through the open driver’s side window.

Ben and Rachel had spent every available minute they had for the past month together. Ben had really gotten to know the boys, who adored him having around. Ben knew she was the one, and Rachel felt the same about him. They were crazy in love with each other. He waved as Rachel’s van pulled out of her driveway. He watched her car turn around the corner as he started off for his own vehicle.

“Ben, hold on a sec.” Ben turned around to Laura’s voice.

He had not seen much of Laura since he had started dating Rachel. She was usually knocking on his door, waving and flirting each time she saw him, but that had stopped. Laura did a little jog to catch up to Ben more quickly.

“Hi, Laura.” Ben gave a half-hearted wave.

“Hi, hey do you have a second to talk?” She stood with her hands on her hips. “It won’t take long.”

“Um, sure, what’s up?” Ben didn’t really want to talk to her.

“Hey, I know this isn’t my place but,  there’s some stuff you don’t know about Rachel and you really should. I know what this looks like, but you are newer on the street and after that dust-up with her ex a couple of months ago… I just don’t want you to walk into anything blind.”

Ben leant up against his car. As Laura continued.

“She is no victim. She’s just as bad as he is.”

“What do you mean? As bad as who?”

“Her Ex, with their sex parties and stuff. I mean look at the both of them, clean-cut, playing the perfect family. She had an affair, that is why he left her. There was always this other guy hanging around. I think it was his friend. It makes me sick. Look, I am not meaning to out her or anything like that. I just,” she reached out to touch Ben’s arm, he pulled away.

“Laura, I love Rachel very much. I think you have the wrong information. He ex is a monster.”

“No that’s just the thing, he isn’t. He was always nice to everyone on the block.”

“Most guys like that usually are. I have seen the police reports Rhett Lawson is not a good man.”

“Ask her about the other man that used come around when she was still married to Rhett. She was not as good to Rhett as she plays.”

“It wouldn’t matter to me, I love her. I should really get going to work.”

“Look you are a really sweet guy. I would just hate to see you get caught up in something because no one spoke up.”

“I have to go.”

“Okay, I am only trying to help.”

“Bye Laura,” Ben said as he got into his car.

The conversation plagued him the entire way to the station. He knew that Laura had always been sweet on him and maybe that is why she said what she did. Ben sat down at his desk and pulled Rhett’s file out of the drawer and reread it. The records did not read like Rachel was a willing participant. There weren’t any records for calls to the house about noise complaints or complaints of any kind. Ben tried to shrug it off. Laura’s information did not mesh with the story Ben knew.

Ben and Marty commandeered the station’s conference room that afternoon, laying out all of the victims the timeline of the crimes, and the evidence they had found. They both had the feeling that they had missed something, there had to be a piece of evidence that would find the killer, it was not possible to not leave a trace of physical evidence. There was not a single fiber, hair, or fingerprint left behind anywhere. The crime scenes were so clean, they had concerns that it might be the work of a crime scene tech.

By 10 pm. Ben and Marty were beyond exhausted and frustrated. All of the players from the game had solid alibis. They had searched through all of Danwood’s workers, as quietly as they could. Serena had been able to give a part of a description, in that the man was white, and the ring, but other than that, they didn’t have much to go on. Every registered sex offender with a record of violence, within one hundred miles of the city had been checked. Eventually, information about the ring was put out to the press, hoping someone would recognize it. They were able to draw it from Serena’s description and the brand marks on the victims. They had yet to get a hit from the public on the ring.

Marty looked at the pictures of the brand marks hung up on the wall.

“Hey take a look at this? These two brands look like they may be a different size. It is slight but possible.” Marty said

Ben got up and inspected the photos. It looked possible.

“Let’s pay the M.E. a visit,” Ben said.

A dispatch officer knocked on the door and poked her head inside.

“Hey, guys I just got a call that I think you might want. A woman just fought off an attacker who tried to abduct her from her apartment in Lakeview. She said he was dressed in all black.”

Ben and Marty looked at each other as both made for the door.

They pulled up to the woman’s apartment and walked past the officers standing in the hallway. They walked into Calle Carlson’s neighbor’s apartment to find her wrapped in a blanket sitting at the kitchen table. Her mascara had run down her cheeks in black streaks. Visibly upset, she looked up at Ben and Marty who introduced themselves.

“It was him, that perv that has been snatching women. I know it”

“What makes you think it was him?”

“Well, I don’t have men breaking into my apartment every day.”

“I was ready for him though. That fucker wasn’t grabbing me.”

“What do mean ready for him? Can you walk us through what happened tonight?”

“Well, I pay attention, you know. Girls have been showing up dead all over the city since spring. I read the paper, and watch the news. I teach kickboxing at the Northlane Athletic Club. I started taking extra precautions, carrying pepper spray, putting my keys in between my fingers when I walk out on the street, I don’t walk with my earbuds in, that sort of the thing.”

“That’s good. You’re smart. I wish more people paid attention like you did. Can you tell us what happened tonight?”

“I finished my last class at 8:45 and got the El home. It felt weird today like I was being watched. I couldn’t prove it but you know what I mean, just the feeling of being watched. I thought I was going nuts.

Anyway, when I got home tonight, there was an eerie feeling in the apartment, like I wasn’t alone. I know this sounds crazy. I called my best friend Viv, and kept her on the phone while I walked through my place, there was nothing out of the ordinary. I thought I was just paranoid. I hung up and started the shower. I got in and I thought I heard something. The pipes in this apartment are a mess so I keep a pipe wrench in the bathroom.

I slid out of the shower, leaving water running and grabbed the wrench. I hid behind the door. I was just getting ready to get back in thinking I was crazy when I saw him. He was dressed all in black. I spotted him through the crack in the door, he didn’t see me. He has brown eyes and is about as tall as I am. I am 5,9.” He walked in and I watched him standing in front of my shower curtain. I lunged and hit him as hard as I could with the wrench. He stumbled and I froze, so stupid. I told myself to run. I took off and he came after me.

He wrestled me down to the ground and I kicked the shit out of him. I realized I still had the wrench in my hand and I started hitting him with it as hard as I could. I split his glove on his left-hand open and saw a gold ring on his pinky, the kind that would leave a brand like news said. I am telling you guys, this is the guy. I started shouting at him “I see you. I see you!” He scrambled up to his feet and lunged at me again and I moved towards him to hit him again. He turned around and ran out of the apartment. I fought that fucker off! I am telling you this guy has got to be hurt. Aside from getting a beatdown with my pipe wrench, I really did kick the shit out of him. His face has got to be a mess. I scratched him too and pulled as much DNA as I could from that asshole. I ran to my neighbor’s house but he wasn’t home so I came here to the lady that lived next door and she called you guys.”

“Where is the wrench now?” Marty asked.

“Probably still on the floor in my hallway,” Calle said.

“Are you hurt? Do you need medical attention,” Ben asked.

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve been hit worse, it comes with the job. I do want to shower, even though I wasn’t raped he had his hands on my naked body and it just creeps me out. Can you guys get what you need from me so I can shower please?”

Calle had been strong till that point but Ben could see the cracks in her demeanour change.

“Our evidence tech is on her way, we will have her collect evidence from you first. Are you sure you would not rather go get checked out at the hospital? You look like you could be hurt?”

“Did you hit your head at any point?” Janis Thorton the evidence tech asked as she walked in.

“I’m not sure, it happened fast.”

“Hi, I am Janis, I am the evidence tech. You should probably have a doctor look at you to be safe.”

“Okay, if you think it is necessary.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Ben said.

“I don’t want an ambulance and all of that fuss. Can we just go in a cab?”

“I can drive you,” Ben said.

“Would you mind if I came with you Calle,” Janis asked. “Our team is combing over your apartment right now. I would like to collect the physical evidence rather than have the hospital do it.”

“Okay.”

Janis showed Calle to Ben’s unmarked car as Ben stopped into the apartment quickly to let Marty know where he was going. There was blood on the hardwood floor in the hallway.

“We have hair!” a tech shouted out. “It’s blonde.”

“Any chance it could be someone else, other than our guy’s?” Marty asked.

“I doubt it. We’ll run it, I’d put money on this being the guy though.”

Ben dropped Calle at her friend Viv’s house after the hospital. He had a squad car parked outside of the friend’s apartment for her piece of mind, and his. Ben wasn’t sure if the man would come back and finished what he had started, he doubted it but who knew what the monster was capable of. Marty was still at the scene, but they were wrapping up too. There was a ton of physical evidence around the apartment, fingerprints, hair and blood. There was also a partial bloody boot print. Calle had given a description of the man that sounded very similar to Serena’s account.

Ben called Marty on the way back to the station. He wanted to take down a few notes while they were fresh in his head. Ben typed up his notes and went back into the conference room to look at the evidence they had laid out. The killer didn’t have a type of woman he preferred, they were all races, all young,  and all pretty. That was the only thing they had in common, was they were upper-middle-class and lived in or around the city. Ben thought it was interesting that Calle had said she felt like she had been watched. Ashley, from Skokie, had actually been watched. Stephen Duke had planted the camera. He’s pay Serena a visit first thing tomorrow morning.

Ben sat in one of the chairs around the table and looked at the wall of evidence. Marty walked in looking just as tired as Ben felt.

“Anything new?”

“A lot of DNA. He had to have been in the apartment for a while. You said you questioned her about a boyfriend?”

“She said she hasn’t had a man in the place in a couple of months, not even the super.”

“I know it’s a long shot but my gut says it’s him,” Marty said

“Yesh, it sounds like our guy.” Ben agreed.

Ben rubbed his forehead.

“What?” Marty asked knowing Ben was thinking about something.

“You know who else is blonde and wasn’t seen at his usual haunts tonight? I made some phone calls when I got back here. His car was spotted on by a red light camera crossing Lincoln and Halstead.”

“Rhett Lawson? That’s four blocks from Callie’s!”

“What do you say we go say hello, see what his face is looking like tonight?”

“Why don’t I just go? It’s not great for you to be knocking on his door at almost midnight with everything going on with Rachel and all.”

“You’re right, but I am going. If it is him, I want to be the one to put the cuffs on that fucker.”

Marty looked at the wall of evidence as he thought it over.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Ben and Marty pulled up to Rhett’s Lincoln Park townhouse just after midnight. Ben was happy to knock on his door. He wanted Rhett to be the killer so badly. He pounded loudly.

“Hey man, maybe I should do the talking.” Marty chimed in.

“Hopefully his face will do the talking.”

Ben pounded again, as the entryway light turned on.

Rhett opened the door in athletic shorts and a t-shirt. The only thing on his face was a layer of stubble.

“What the hell? It is after midnight? What the hell do you want?”

“Sorry to disturb you Mr. Lawson.”

Before Marty could continue Rhett recognized Ben.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me! I know who the fuck you are. This is police harassment. I am calling my lawyer.”

“Mr. Lawson..” Marty started again.

“Fuck off pigs!” Rhett said as he started to shut the door.

“Where were you tonight Rhett?” Ben asked.

“Fucking Rachel, where were you? She begged me for every minute of it too.”

Marty moved in between the two men before Rhett slammed the door. Ben walked briskly to the car as Marty followed.  Ben slid into the driver’s seat as Marty got in. He drove away calmly until he pulled onto Lake Shore Drive. Once they got onto the Drive, Ben hit the sirens and lights, as he put his foot down hard.

“He was fucking with you man. Rachel would never sleep with him.”

“Not of her own will.” Ben gritted out through his teeth.

Filed Under: McKinley Park Tagged With: McKinley Park

When a Writer Can’t Write It is Painful!

July 20, 2019 by jackiecthomas Leave a Comment

McKinely Park is written, and I am at the end of my last edit for The Lake Michigan Affair. I am in the weird part of writing where I am not actively working on a new project. I have hit this awkward space before, the space between projects when you aren’t writing. I am also on the home-stretch of my Master’s degree in PR. Ths particular sememster is covering descriptive statistics, and it is making me crazy. I knew that I would need all of my attention focused on this semester, and I was so right! I am getting buried this semester.

I chose to be in this strange space, not writing, but let me tell you, it is uncomfortable. I just knew I wouldn’t have the bandwidth to work my full-time job and start a new project. I feel the urge to write down in my bones. I want to be dug into a project, getting to know my characters and working through the plot. Early next month I will undergo substantial surgery. I have been told to expect a long recovery. Knowing this, I am also hesitant to start a project knowing that not feeling well enough to write will not be good for my recovery and mental health. These aren’t excuses, I am just trying to be realistic about my time and abilities.

So what is a girl to do? Writers have to write. In the meantime, I am trying to fill this void by reading romance. It is the genre that I write in so I try to read a lot of it. While I am enjoying th book I am currently reading, Fat Tuesday by Sandra Brown, it is not writing. It is the strangest thing to describe, but it feels physically uncomfortable to not be working on a new project. I feel like something is missing from my life right now, and I don’t like the feeling.

I consider myself very lucky that as far as inspiration goes, I have never had to struggle to find the next thing to work on. I have a few ideas written down and I have been trying to mull them over and really develop them right now as a consolation prize. I am used to getting to know my characters by forcing them through the plot. They are born out of strife, and like a diamond produced under pressure, I’d like to think my characters are born the same way, although not as perfect as a diamond for sure. I live for this struggle, getting to know who my characters are. I love writing a chapter and then staying awake all night in a half-sleep knowing I am going to have to rewrite because I have forced my will as the author, not listened to the character.

Not writing has been weighing heavy on my mind. I keep wondering to myself about atrophy. If writing is described as a muscle, then what happens when you aren’t writing? I know I have improved considerably from the first novel I wrote. As my writing has matured, so has the process in which I write. Right now as I type this, I know I am at least a month out from being able to start my next project, and that fills me with despair. I want to write! I need to write!

In the meantime, I will continue to read, and really throw myself into my grad school course. Coming to this realization I will try to read instead, I put a call out to the Writing Community on Twitter for recommendations good romance reads. I was thrilled to see that my feed was filled with all sorts of romance novels. I am looking forward to digging into them while I recoup, but no matter how amazing these works are, it is not writing.

What do you do when you are a writer who can’t write? This is so frustrating. Fellow readers have you ever went through something like this? What did you do to get through it?

Filed Under: Self Care, Writing Tagged With: Inspiration, McKinley Park, Plot, Writing

McKinley Park Chapter 17

July 16, 2019 by jackiecthomas 2 Comments

Ben took a shower and made some lunch, stopping by his front window to check on Rachel’s house each time he walked past. He turned on the Cubs game but wasn’t interested, he was frustrated with Rachel. He understood her fear but, he also wanted her to trust him. He knew it was going to take time. He got up to take his plate back to the kitchen when he heard a knock at the door. He put the plate back on the coffee table and went to answer the door.  Rachel stood on the front porch.

“Okay, let’s go. If I don’t go do this now, I will chicken out.”

He could see how conflicted she was. He grabbed his keys off of the table next to the door and locked it behind him. They got into his car, the heat from the sun making it feel like a sauna. Rachel stayed quiet as they rode along. Ben reached out and laced his fingers over her hand and squeezed gently. She squeezed back.

“I am really proud of you.” Ben said softly.

Rachel gave him a half smile.

He picked up the hand that he held and pressed a kiss into her palm.

“Trust isn’t easy for me Ben. I’m scared.”

“I know and that is why it means so much to me that you are trusting me. I won’t let you down. Look, I hope the future sees us together, happy as a family, but if it doesn’t I will still protect you and the boys from Rhett and his family. I promise you. Your protection is not mutual with us having a relationship.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

 Twenty- five minutes later Rachel sat at Ben’s desk as an officer went over the paperwork with her. She felt safe sitting in Ben’s chair. Ben went to go get her a cup of coffee from the kitchen while she completed the paperwork. He didn’t want to hover and make her feel pressured by him. As he walked into the kitchen he saw Marty drinking a cup of coffee in the break room.

“I thought you were taking some time off?” Marty said, as he finished coffee.

“I am. I’m just here with Rachel. She’s pressing charges against Rhett, and petitioning for an order of protection for her and the boys.”

“That’s a big step for her. In the file there were a noticeable lack of charges filed by her, most were filled by the state on her behalf.”

“Yeah. This has got to stop.”

“I hear ya. You really love this girl, don’t you?”

“Is it that obvious?”

Marty laughed.

“If she is here filing, she really loves you too, you know,” Marty said as he crunched the paper cup in his hand and flung it into the trash can.

Ben tried not to smile.

“Hey I am glad you are here anyway. I wanted to let you know, Rhett’s alibi is solid for the night Serena was attacked and the rest of the nights we have. He wasn’t even in town for Serena. He was partying his ass off out on the coast.”

“Shit are you sure?”

“Yeah it all checks out. Sorry man. Don’t worry though, he isn’t off my radar. I get get the same read you do. He knows something.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well we questioned him, and even with his attorney there, he was so cocky. There’s something about him, slimy. Be careful there, he’s got some powerful friends too.”

“I met his father this afternoon, when he came to get the bastard’s car. I didn’t like the look of him either.”

“Hey, have you asked Rachel about Rhett?”

“I tried. She shut down when I brought up their sex life. There is more there I know it. She just isn’t ready to tell me.”

“Would it help if I talked to her, I mean since the two of you are involved? It might be less uncomfortable for her?”

“Yeah maybe, but give it a day or two. She’s been through a lot. I know there is trauma there. It is like part of her is holding back and I think it has to do with that piece of shit.”

“Well give it some thought.”

“Did you get anymore information on Duke?”

“You mean did we find all of him?”

“Yikes, that bad?”

“This wasn’t a murder, it was a hit. Someone wanted to shut him up.”

“Danwood?”

“That would be my guess. I put a call into Yee to let him know what was going on. A bit of penance for last night.”

“Good call.  I should get back to Rachel. Keep me up to date?”

“Yeah. Enjoy your time with her.” Marty nodded out towards the main room where Ben’s desk sat.

Ben looked in that direction to see Rachel walking into the kitchen.

“All done.” She took a deep breath as she said it.

Ben walked over to her and put his arm around her. He kissed the top of her head.

“I am proud of you.”

She gave a half smile, the tension in her body radiated in the small space of the kitchen.

“Hi, I’m Marty. I am Ben’s partner.”

“Oh, it is nice to meet you. I am Rachel.”

“It is nice to finally meet you. Ben talks about you… a lot.”

“Uh oh, is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“It’s a good thing. I am happy to see him happy. You two will have to come out with my wife and I sometime.”

“That would be fun. Thank you for the invitation.”

“We should get going.” Ben chimed in.

“It was nice to meet you, Rachel.”

“You too.”

“Call me if you get anything big?” Ben asked as they stepped out of the kitchen.

“You got it.” Marty patted him on the back.

Ben and Rachel walked out of the station. He opened the car door for her. Before she got in she reached out and hugged him tightly, laying her head on his chest. He brought his arms around her and held her close to him. They stood there on the sidewalk, with the car door open, in each other’s arms.

“Thank you.” Rachel said quietly.

She looked up at him after she said it. Ben caressed her cheek.

“Thank you for forcing me to be brave.”

“Honey you are making this choice, I would not force you to do anything.”

“No, I know, it was a figure of speech. You know it is so weird, I was so afraid to do this and now it is done and I am not afraid anymore. I thought I would feel awful afterwards but I don’t. As cliche as it sounds, I feel light, like a huge weight has been lifted. So thank you.”

“I am glad to feel that way. You are stronger than you know Rachel. You are not alone, I am here and I will always have your back.”

She leant up on her toes and kissed him. A few officers walking in began to hoot and holler at the two of them. Rachel stopped kissing Ben and buried her face in his chest, her face blushing. Ben gave them the finger as he laughed, the officers laughed in return. They both got into the car and Ben pulled away.

“I’m kind of hungry. Are you hungry?” Rachel asked.

“Well it is almost dinnertime, do you want to get something while we are out?”

“Sure.”

“What do you have a taste for?”

“Chinese?”

“That does sound good. Where do you want to go?”

“What about Happy House on Hasted?”

“My favorite. That sounds good to me.”

Ben and Rachel ate dinner, and had ordered enough food for leftovers for three days after. Ben pulled into his driveway and parked the car. Rachel leant over and kissed him. He wanted her. They both got out of the car, as he came around to her, she put her arms around him and kissed him again. The intensity of their interaction was almost inappropriate for being out on the street,  but they were shielded by the darkness of early evening. They kissed their way to his front door, as they both tripped over one of the stairs to the the front porch. Ben caught Rachel before they both fell.

He  fumbled with his keys in the door, never breaking away from her lips. He opened the front door and they spilled into the foyer, Ben closed the door behind them. Ben wanted to take her right there in the hallway, propping her against the wall.

“Ben wait.” Rachel said breathless. “We have to slow down a bit, please.”

She pushed him towards the couch. He sat as the back of his legs hit it.  She climbed on top of him and he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her and she kissed him back. He pushed her blouse off of her shoulder and kissed the exposed skin. Ben moved her hair out of the way and kissed her neck as he felt her hips move against him. She moaned as he kissed back down to her collar bone. He reached up and tried to undo more buttons on her blouse. She reached down to help him. He pushed it off of her shoulders and she helped but got caught by the buttons on the cuffs of her sleeves. Ben had went back to kissing her and had not noticed Rachel’s arms were caught in her sleeves. She began to panic, being trapped. He reached for her clasp at the front of her bra, as she still struggled to free her hands. Ben had been too eager and was moving too fast to notice.

“Stop! Please stop.” Rachel cried out.

Ben stopped right away, and noticed her arms were stuck. He looked at her face and saw she was on the verge of tears. She looked away embarrassed as Ben reached out to free her arms.

“I’m sorry honey, I didn’t notice you were stuck.”

Rachel brought her arms around to the front of her and got off of Ben’s lap. Ben stood up, as she stood in front of him, her arms across her body, sheilding her nakedness.

“Can I please have a glass of water?”

“Of course. Rachel I am really sorry.”

She nodded  and walked towards the kitchen, in only her bra and pants. Ben followed her and grabbed a glass of from the cupboard and filled it. He set it on the counter next to her. She picked it up and took a drink from it. Clutching the glass, she walked over to the large windows at the back of the kitchen. Ben stayed quiet, he wanted to give her the space she needed. He stood at the counter.

Rachel turned back around.

“Ben I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were stuck.”

“I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. I know you wouldn’t hurt me, it’s just that…” she stopped talking.

Ben walked across the kitchen to her. He held out his hand and she took it. He pulled her in to him, slowly. He wrapped his arms around her, his warm skin on her cool back felt wonderful to her.

“Rachel you can tell me anything, nothing will change the way I feel about you.”

“Can we go upstairs to your bed?” She took a step towards the stairs.

“Yes, but wait,” he reached out for her hand. “We don’t have to sleep together if you don’t want to.”

She cut him off.

“Ben I want to, I really want to. I just needed to calm down. Can I ask a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Can we just go slow? I just have a hard time moving too fast. I need to stay in the moment, and going slow really helps.”

“Of course.”

Rachel kept ahold of Ben’s hand and walked upstairs with him. She let go of his hand once they got into his bedroom and walked over to the bed. The room was dark, with only the light from the street light outside to illuminate the room. Rachel undid her bra as Ben could see the yellow light from outside reflecting off of her perfect breasts. She undid her pants, her back to the wall where Ben could not see. As she slipped them off Ben followed her lead and began to undress. She slid into the bed completely naked and he followed suit.

She scooted over to him, meeting him in the middle of the bed. He wrapped his arm around her, and kissed her gently. He reminded himself to go slow, pay attention to her body and not to touch her ass or the back of her thighs. The more he kissed her the more he felt the tension ease from her and her body began to respond in a pleasurable way.

Ben kissed down her chest again and took one of her nipples into his mouth as he spread out his hand on her stomach an slowly moved it downward. Rachel ran her hands though Ben’s hair. He loved the feeling of her fingers in his hair. His hand inched lower, as he moved his mouth back to hers. He kissed her gently as his hand made it’s way to it’s destination. Ben cupped her most sensitive spot and paused watching for any signs of hesitation. He felt her hips buck towards him and he took the invitation, still moving slowly, paying attention to her body. He  slid his fingers inside of her slowly, and she began to ride his fingers. It took everything in Ben not to come undone, it was so simple but so incredibly sexy at the same time. He looked at Rachel in the lamp light, in pleasure, and he kissed her again.

She wrapped one arm around him and copied his movements as she took him into her free hand. Him sitting in her warm hand, while he continued to move on his hand inside of her, ignited a sense of urgency in him that he fought back. He wanted to make love to her, going slow savoiring it all.

“I have to grab a condom,” he whispered through gritted teeth.

If he didn’t pull away soon, he would be spent and this bliss would be over. He rolled over and opened the drawer on the nightstand. It was the fastest he had ever put a condom on in his life. He rolled back over to Rachel who embraced him again, with her arms and her tongue. He moved his body gently to move her onto her back, looking for any sign of hesitation. She rolled herself easily, and welcomed him into her body. As he pushed in, he was sure to go slow and make eye contact with her.

Her body was better than he had remembered it from the last time they had slept together, and he would have classified that as heaven. He could see the whites of her eyes in the lamplight as she looked at him. There was a connection there. He knew in that moment something special had happened. This was more than just sex for the both of them. Ben leant down and kissed her.

“Ben” she whispered, “Can I get on top?”

Ben slid his arm under back and rolled the both of them so she was now on top. He could see her smile at his skill. She began to ride him slowly. He ran his hands up her stomach and cradled her breasts. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He was getting close, and he fought it, he wanted this to be just as good for her, if not better. He reached up and brought her mouth to his, kissing her. That intense kiss was all she needed, Ben could feel her finish before he could hear her. She sat upright and grabbed his hands and put them on her hips as she continued to ride through the waves of her orgasm. She threw her head back as a moan from deep inside her escaped. Watching her on top of him, enraptured in pleasure, was more than he could fight off. His own orgasm came racing through his body, so intense he could feel his fingers tingle.

Ben was relieved he had made it that long. Sex with Rachel was the best sexual experience of his life. He never had to fight to stay in the game before, but there was something with her that was different. She laid down on top of him, resting her head on his shoulder as they both caught their breaths. He wrapped his arms around her back and moved them up to her face. He took her head into his hands and kissed her mouth.

“Rachel you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He kissed her again.

“I love you,” she said back to him after their kiss.

Filed Under: McKinley Park Tagged With: McKinley Park, Romance, Sex

Taboo Sex: What is Society’s Safe Word?

July 12, 2019 by jackiecthomas 2 Comments

I spent last weekend with engrossed with Tiffany Reisz’s The Siren. It is supposed to be the work she is most known for. I adore her writing and while it is considered erotica, and it really is, the story is fantastic. I have read three of her books up until that point. The first book I read by her was The Red, it was steamy, but the story was amazing too. She just released another book earlier this year called The Rose. which was a masterclass in storytelling. She is an amazing storyteller, so I was eager to read her most well-known work, The Siren. 

Without giving too much away, the story in The Siren is what I would consider strong S&M. This is a story about the S&M lifestyle, something alien to me. Now, I just want to be very clear here, I am in no way making a judgment call on anyone’s preferences in the bedroom. As long as all who are participating are consenting, of age adults, then all the power to them. I really tried to understand the love, and lust in this type of relationship, but I really struggled with it. 

When Fifty Shades of Grey came out, I remember people being shocked by the “rough stuff.” I have heard the joke that if Christian Grey had been poor, the book would have had a very different slant. Full disclosure, I haven’t read the series, but the whole thing got me thinking about taboo sex, romance writing, and erotica writing. There is something fun about writing the taboo, the forbidden, and the unorthodox. As I continued to think about that, two big stories broke, the Jeffery Epstein story and R. Kelly being brought up on Federal charges. Both cases dealt with older men and underage girls. 

I just want to be very clear, I am not making a connection to S&M play and sleeping with underage girls. It is strange what makes people “tick” sexually. Adult entertainment is filled with images, and videos of women as close to the required age of consent as possible. One of the sexiest romance novels I ever read was between an older man and an 18-year-old girl. It just got me to wondering if pushing the boundaries in writing sex is a responsible thing to do?

I am not saying that in R. Kelly’s case or Epstein’s case that they read a romance novel with taboo sex and it influenced them, that would be ridiculous. It just made me ask questions. As I said earlier, as long as all parties are of age, not coerced, not getting hurt and are willing parties, then all the power to them, to experience intimacy how they chose. The question I found myself asking, is what classifies sexual behavior as taboo and what part does writing sex play in that?

I mean think, twenty years back, S&M was a taboo topic. If you told me then about the success of Fifty Shades, I would have said you were nuts, no way that would ever be mainstream. What classifies sex as taboo? I do think there are some clear lines, like sex with underage participants, and sex where people get hurt, are no goes. That being said, take my current work McKinley Park into account, the subplot is about a murder and a rapist. Rape is a taboo subject. Many feel that it should not be written about at all, that writing about it glorifies it. I respectfully believe it is about framing it, is the subject written to glorify or denounce. 

I am all for sexual expression, period. I just wonder with erotica becoming more mainstream, which I support, does it continue to push the line of acceptable versus taboo? Is that a good thing? What do you think? If you write sex, do you think you hold some responsibility in this discussion? I would be interested in knowing what you think. Let me know in the comments below!

 

Filed Under: Romance Tagged With: McKinley Park, reading, Romance, Sex, Writing

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