Jacqueline C. Thomas - Romance Novelist

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My Writing Year of 2019

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This has been an interesting year writing-wise. I came into 2019 having just finished three completed novels, in fact, I finished the last one on December 22nd of 2018. I came into the year on a creative hot-streak! There was a lot of change for me personally last year too, a career change, followed by another one in short succession. I would’ve thought that change would’ve stifled the creative process but it didn’t. I couldn’t write fast enough. The creative juices were flowing, they were overflowing!

I came into this year without any expectations for writing, other than, I would continue to write. With six completed works under my belt I wanted to change direction, I wanted to find an agent. As I read everything I could get my hands on about finding an agent, one thing that became clear was that I needed to build a platform- hence the birth of this website. I set to crafting the perfect query letter and all I can say is I had a lot to learn, and probably still do if I am being honest. I put my head down, got to researching and started querying. Let me just say for those of you who have never done this- it is rough.

My writing comes from somewhere deep inside of me. That being said, when I reach out to an agent for representation, I am putting my work out there, and it is no longer mine and mine alone. I have to be open to changes that will come to the story and the characters along the way, it is no longer my own fiefdom, that is terrifying. There is also the emotional response of hoping it’s good enough and that my writing isn’t a joke. Bottom line, querying is an emotional landmine, but that being said, it is a necessary process. So far, querying has had its ups and downs but it has also helped me grow as a person. I have had to learn to handle rejection in a way that I never have before- it’s humbling but good. As 2019 rolls to a close, I am still currently seeking representation, but I am not deterred. I am emboldened to keep going. I believe through and through that, I have to work for the things I want in life.

Aside from querying, I did write this year. I wrote McKinley Park and published it a chapter at a time on this very blog. In fact, it was this blog that prompted the completion of McKinley Park. As I wrote on the McKinley Park page, I had started the story awhile back but had gotten stuck and had shelved it. I knew if I said I would finish it here on the blog, that the public pressure would force me to complete it. I was right! Writing a book and publishing it a chapter at a time, in a new genre, what could go wrong? McKinley Park stretched my skills as a writer. It also made me kill my darlings! Don’t worry, I won’t share any spoilers, for those who haven’t read it. This was an amazing exercise as a writer! Thank you to all of you who read along!

Writing-wise things were humming along, I was querying, writing McKinley Park and then everything ground to a halt for an unexpected and life-changing surgery. After surgery, it seemed that all of my bandwidth was used just keeping my professional and student life going, and at times I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water. What I did not expect, nor prepare for was the emotional cost of my operation. It was like a grenade going off in the middle of my life, I feel like I am still picking pieces of emotional shrapnel out of my skin. For most creative people who have been through a life-changing event, they can tell you, your creativity takes a hit too. I wasn’t prepared for that either.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to write. I tried to force it, and that did not go well. I was terrified that I had somehow broken that special creative part of myself. Then one night I dreamt about all of the characters I had created and as woo-woo as this sounds, I felt like they were encouraging me to try again. I knew that creatively I couldn’t start something new, I wasn’t there yet, so I rewrote my first book- the project that made me fall in love with writing. I thought this would be an easier lift, as I didn’t really have to create much, the world was built, and the characters were there… Again, I was mistaken. Rewriting is HARD, but it was exactly what I needed to get back on my feet. Like a muscle that had atrophied, my rewrite started off slowly and then as time went on, my writing got stronger.

As November came around and NaNoWriMo kicked off, I tackled it with the same enveloping enthusiasm that I always had. I love Nano, but between school, work, and a renewed querying effort, I just didn’t have the bandwidth- something had to give. I refused to look at the truth of the situation, I could do a few things really well, or all of the things I was trying to accomplish poorly. Querying demands your very best, you can’t phone that in, neither can you do a half-assed job working on your Master’s degree. To top it all off, what started as a great idea for my Nano, fizzled and then eventually came to a grinding halt. The story just didn’t work. I had another idea on the back burner and I enthusiastically set to work on that, and the writing went well but I simply just did not have the bandwidth. Recognizing my own limitations, I stepped back from Nano for the first time ever. That was painful.

With the end of the year less than a month away, I have started another project! One evening while I was driving home from work I had an idea for another novel. This wasn’t a moment, where I thought to myself “oh that’s an interesting idea,” no this was a sledgehammer of an idea, more like “WRITE ME NOW OR I WILL CUT YOU!” The force in which the idea came was powerful. It was welcome! It was my inspiration, roaring to life! So I’ve started writing this book, with Joe and Noelle and I am telling their story. I don’t know exactly where it goes yet but I have a pretty good idea. Do you want to know what the best part is? I am having fun writing again! Even more important, the feeling that writing is a necessary part of my life is back! I could not be happier to get started with this. If you are asking yourself, about the bandwidth thing dear reader, all I can say is two words Christmas break. I am on Christmas break from grad school, I now have the bandwidth to dedicate all of me to this project and I could not be happier.

My hopes for the next year is to find an agent for The Lake Michigan Affair and to continue writing. I am excited about the possibilities a new year brings! I am also grateful for the good and difficult times this past year has brought. Life is a learning experience, and I have learned a lot this year!

NaNoWriMo 2019 Eve

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To most people October 31st. is celebrated for Halloween. For the writers in your life this day is known as NaNoWriMo Eve. This magical day is the eve of one of the largest collective novel-writing programs to kick off in the United States. NaNoWriMo, or Nano as I call it, stands for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is you dedicate one month to write a novel, at least fifty-thousand words. When my husband and I met, he was the prolific writer in our relationship. I dreaded November because I know I became a “book widow,” as he feverishly typed away in his home office. I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.

After I wrote my first book, a couple of years back, my husband challenged me to do Nano. I believe it went something like this, “you’re a writer now, I bet you have another book in you. Do you think you can do it?” Never one to back down to a challenge, I committed to completing my first Nano ever. I wrote The Lake Michigan Affair in three weeks. At the time I was working for a local organization that threw a massive Christmas celebration for the town and I knew that I would not have the bandwidth to organize that event and write. I had the idea, a devout Catholic woman who falls in love with the new Catholic Bishop of Chicago, but little else. I set off and working under pressure, the story grew before me. I look back at it in awe. Two years later after several re-writes and copy edits, I am seeing representation for The Lake Michigan Affair. It amazes me, I still can’t believe I had that story in me.

Last year for Nano, I wrote another novel. It was the story of friends who work together. They go through a horrific tragedy and are brought together in grief. There’s only one catch, she’s married, he isn’t. What drew me to this story is that the characters had always had a “thing” for each other, an attraction that neither had ever acted upon until this turning point in both of their lives. What I loved about this project is the main character Emily, is flawed, she breaks Gabe, her love interest’s heart, not once but twice! This was a challenge to write and still make her likeable. I started this book with an idea of unrequited love between two friends that blossoms into something more, spurred on by tragedy.

There is one scene in this book that I especially love. It is where Emily has hurt Gabe badly, and she comes to him to reconcile, not even realizing that is why she is there. Gabe has just lost his mother and is back home to sign over the keys for the sale of his childhood home. She comes over to be supportive of Gabe and they end up sleeping together. I love this scene because it is so intimate. They end up getting stuck at Gabe’s childhood due to a snowstorm. Together they build a fire in the fireplace in the living room to stay warm when the power goes out. However, they have no trouble staying warm, making love to each other all night. I love this scene!

This year as I gear up for another Nano, once again I have my idea in mind. I feel like I have my main character loosely configured and her love interest or interests. This time there is no marital affair, other matters of the heart are afoot though. I am so excited to be able to start Nano this year. I love this program so much. Life is busy, and finding time to write is a struggle but for me, knowing there is a deadline, that the first draft should be done by the end of the month is exhilarating. What excites me, even more, is the story that is yet to come. I guess I am easily entertained because I am always in awe when I complete a work, that I came up with that story.

The one thing I am not looking forward to is the halfway point. It is usually at the end of the first act, or before the climax that I have a crisis of confidence and am tempted to scrap the entire thing. I have done this with everything I have ever written, with the exception of Come Sail Away with Me. Here’s hoping that this year’s doubts are manageable and I won’t give up. My personal motto has always been one word, “relentless.” Be relentless in goals, that means not giving up and telling myself, even if the book turns out to be garbage, I didn’t give up. I have never finished a book and thought it was trash, by the time I got to the end. Sure, it might need a massive amount of work, but the story is there. So if I can give one piece of advice for those of you who are doing Nano this year it would be this, DON’T GIVE UP… KEEP GOING!

See you all at the end of the month with our books in hand!

 

If you’d like to learn more about NaNoWriMo, click here.

What’s Next for McKinley Park

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I am assuming, hopefully that if you choose to read this blog post that you read some or all of McKinley Park. If my assumption is correct, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! I was overwhelmed in the best possible way by all of the constructive feedback I received while I was writing it and afterwards. Siting here “finished” with it, the flaws glare at me. It makes me think of my elementary school art teacher, Mr. Brignoni. He was an older Italian man who professed that the first mark you made on the paper was what was intended all along. I can see him now with his salt and pepper moustache, saying, “no, Jackie, that is how it was meant to be.”

While writing is an artistic expression, Mr. Brignoni’s ethos does not fit here. Revisions and rewrites are part of the process. I wrote and published McKinley Park pretty much as I went along, except for the last few chapters which were written in one sitting. The work as it stands now is rough, not just grammatically but developmentally as well. I am so grateful to those who reached out along the way to help me correct as I went, especially you Terry. To a certain extent, publishing a book a chapter at a time has its challenges, and as McKinley Park sits now, they are visible.

So what’s next? Well, last week I came across a tweet from the romance book reviewer, Jamie Green form the New York Times. She put a call out for indie authors who had published online to submit their books for possible review. I shared the tweet out right away to those fellow romance authors who had romance books out there. I didn’t think about it for myself. The Lake Michigan Affair, for which I am seeking representation is not self-published, I prefer to go the traditional route with it. Driving home Friday afternoon, an idea struck. What if I had McKinley Park copyedited and did a full revisional rewrite, self published it as a full book, and submitted it?

I really thought about this, much to my husband’s annoyance. I had always heard that if you were seeking the traditional publishing route that self-publishing was a no go. I don’t want to do anything to hurt my chances for The Lake Michigan Affair and the other works I have unpublished. My husband, who’s opinion I value, advised against it. The next day I asked my sister who is an author and an indie-published pro, what she thought of the idea. She said, “Do It!” Hmmm, complete opposite opinions. So what does any self-respecting Y’er do, ask the internet of course? So I posed the question to the Twitter Writing Community, publish or don’t. I was surprised that overwhelming responses that said to do it. I still continued to think about it.

With NanoWriMo approaching, which I have done for the past three years and love, and the thought of a rewrite for McKinley Park, the writing plate feels a bit heavy. So right now I am thinking about how to juggle a new project and McKinley Park. Or Nano or do I focus on my rewrite only? If I did a rewrite, I would most likely pull McKinley Park down from my site but that is also a lot of content gone off of the site. Hmmmm, more questions. I am not sure what the right answer is here. I know it is a long shot that McKinley park would be chosen to be reviewed, but on the miracle that it was, making its debut in the New York Times would be a life-changing moment for me. Like my sister said, “what do you have to lose? It’s the New York Times, Jack, your dream, go for it!”

So that is where this sits as of now. I am still unsure of taking the chance. What would you do reader? Let me know in the comments below.

When the Words Aren’t There

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(Cheers to the words!)

 

The first book I ever wrote, I dreamt. I mulled over the idea of writing it into a book for a day or two, then sat down and did it. I wrote the first book in a week, or at least the first full draft that week. The whole experience was lifechanging for me, as cliche as that sounds, it is true. I knew writing was something that I would do for the rest of my life. I am very blessed not to have a shortage of creative people in my life, and I remember them talking from time to time how creativity wasn’t flowing, and their process was stilted. I remember thinking to myself how ridiculous this sounded… Then karma laughed.

From the first book on, I have never stopped writing. The words have always flowed out of me pretty easily; the inspiration was there. Sure, I’ve had difficulties with sections of every piece I have ever written, but these were manageable hurdles. I am the sort of person that when I set my mind to something and commit, that’s it, I’m not done until I have accomplished what I set out to. “Arse in chair,” is what we say in our house when it comes to writing, meaning sit your butt in the chair and just write, no excuses. Sounds simple enough.. again karma laughed.

Last May, I ran into some health issues, and the scare of a lifetime thus far, yet I kept writing, it saw me through. I poured all of my nervous energy into McKinley Park, letting myself fall into Rachel and Ben’s world. Writing was a haven and comfort as I nervously waited for test results. I was also raising my two children, one who has special needs, working a full-time and sometimes demanding job, and completing my Master’s degree in public relations, but no matter what, I kept writing. My test results came back, and although I was in the clear, I still needed significant surgery, life-altering surgery.

I don’t know anyone who likes surgery, but I hate it. The anaesthesia makes me violently ill for days, but there was no way around it. So the surgery was scheduled; meanwhile my most challenging course of my graduate career kicked off at the same time, a statistics course disguised as a research course. I am not a numbers person; I am a letters woman. I knew with surgery and this course, which I was not going to defer, that I was going to have to put writing on hold for a while. I finished up McKinley Park and stopped writing. It was the weirdest sensation not to be building a world for two people to fall in love in. There was this nagging feeling like I was forgetting something. I suppress the urge to write, knowing that school, work, and healing were going to take all of the bandwidth that I had.

I made it through the surgery with relative ease, and I am grateful for it. I am usually a complications magnet, but things went smoothly. I was told that it was going to be painful, but I had, had two kids by C-section, one of which was 10lbs! I knew pain; I wasn’t scared. This was a whole other ball game, folks. I couldn’t write even if I wanted to. As the days at home dragged on, I wanted to write, but I knew I couldn’t, between being too tired, or hopped up on pain pill, and not in the good slightly unstable author way. (That’s a joke.) Then while I was home healing, the statistics course went from a difficulty setting of 6 out of 10 to a 10 out of 10. Have you ever tried to compute statistics while on heavy pain medication? Let me tell you; it is an experience, one that I never want to repeat.

Slowly my body got stronger, and I returned to work. The statistics course from hell ended and the next course in my graduate program started. I thought to myself that I was finally in a place where I could start writing again. McKinley Park was just about done being published; it felt like the right time to start something new. I was ready…. but where had the words gone? Where was the inspiration that had once come so easily? Reassuring myself that this would take time, I didn’t push, something in me knew not to push. I know I have mentioned it before, but I am not a patient woman. I try to be, but I know I am not. Inspiration was not happening fast enough for me.

Finally, I had a thread of an idea, and I sat down and started writing, only to pitter out two chapters in. It was forced; the words weren’t flowing as they had before. I let myself stop, something I never do. I knew this wasn’t the right idea for right now; I could always come back to it. I found myself missing writing, but not able to write creatively. One of my biggest pet peeves are those who are creative and drone on about process, I am the “arse in chair,” girl, yet here I was. Now what? If you miss it, then put your arse in the chair and start writing.

While I was preparing for and recovering from surgery, I also put my querying efforts for The Lake Michigan Affair on hold. I knew I did not have the bandwidth to give the querying process the time it required. I told myself to take the time not writing to focus my efforts here instead. That did not go well either. Deep down, I secretly wondered if I had broken this magical gift that had allowed me to write so effortlessly before. Had I suppressed the desire to write into complete dormancy?

The inspiration was not there, to accompany the words, even though I engaged in things that I knew would spark my creativity. Everything felt flat. I continued to push, to no avail. I was not one of the writers I had previously rolled my eyes at, as karma’s laughter was now a full side-aching, knee-slapping, tears down the face roar of laughter. I was not pleased.

Then the other night as I was laying in bed, I had the most surreal experience. It was almost like the characters I had written were all suddenly there, fresh, at the top of my mind. It felt like a hug from friends. There was something about it that was comforting and reassuring. I started to think about each of them and their stories. All of the other feelings about writing fell away, and it felt freeing. I fell asleep that night feeling like I had sat in my grandmother’s kitchen, that warm feeling of being loved. The next morning, still thinking about the experience from the night before I sat back and thought about the stories I had created.

My first book has a great story, but the writing was poor. It was the first thing I had ever written creatively at that point. I had planned to rewrite it last spring in California, on the coast where it takes place, but life had other plans. I told myself I would not revise it until I was on the coast. I wanted to be where the story took place. I opened the book in Scrivner and started picking at the first chapter, making corrections and reworking parts of it. Before I knew it, I was well into chapter 3. Those first characters I had ever created were there, welcoming me back. In the back of my head, I kept telling myself to stop; this was not when and where this project was supposed to get rewritten.

Finally, last night as I sat and rewrote/ edited further into the book, I told that inner voice to shut the hell up. Now is the time to rewrite this book, I knew  I needed the familiar, needed to see that even in my first attempt to write, I was capable. As I write this now, I am itching to dig back in and continue working on the book, the desire is there, and it feels great. Maybe this book is like writing with training-wheels until I am ready and steady enough to create from scratch again. Whatever it is, I am incredibly grateful and going with it.

Who Rides the White Horse Now: Feminism and Romance

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I was driving to work recently and had an idea for another romance book. I was so struck by the idea that I actually used Siri on my iPhone to take a voice memo. Let’s face it, Siri is pretty but she’s stupid and rarely gets most things I ask her to do correctly. At 70mph per hour, on the toll road, this idea came screaming out of me. I recorded my words at a feverish pace, trying to convey the emotion and feeling along with the plot. Feeling accomplished, and knowing that Siri will have gotten so much of it wrong, I put my phone down and continued my drive. I will have to decode the jibberish that Siri actually recorded later.

The story idea still ran through my mind with less intensity now that I had documented it somewhere. It struck me that the idea was different because the “knight on the white horse” wasn’t a man, but a woman. She could rescue him! I really started to think about this idea of protectors and manly men who protect their women. Even that sentence sounds sexist to me, and it probably is, but I won’t lie, I love a good book where the love interest is an Alpha male. There is something so sexy about a man protecting the woman he loves… that sounds better. “Their woman”…ick!

The fact that I describe that sort of romance that way illustrates the issue perfectly. I like to think I am a feminist. I take women’s rights very seriously, as well as fighting for equality. I think a lot of women are in a similar space to me. I can only imagine being in a relationship with one of the Alpha males from the great romances I’ve read. No, get your head out of the gutter….. It would never work for me to be the wife of a man like that, we’d run into issues even with a quick romp. A man telling me what to do, even if it was in my best interest, I am just not wired like that. Discussion and mutual understanding are where I am at when it comes to the love interest in my life.

All of this set me to wondering, as a romance writer, where is the genre going when both the man and woman should be riding the white horse? Who rescues who? Is it still even appropriate to make the man the hero? Thinking this idea through I posed the question to my husband over lunch one afternoon. He suggested making the woman the heroine. His story idea went something like this: a man who is married to a terrible woman falls for another woman. The new love interest then has to rescue the man from a bad marriage and an abusive wife. My immediate response was no one would read that. Women make up the majority of romance readers, not many of them want to be thought of as a bad wife. Furthermore, I am going to venture a guess that none of them would sympathize with the husband and new love interest. What is weirder, is that if you turn it all around, and he rescues her from an abusive husband, you have struck romance gold…. weird huh?

I have to wonder if there is something about the way our genders are wired or if it is taught? I don’t want to get into the whole nature vs. nurture argument. I just wonder as a romance author how tastes will change over time. I am really interested to see where the genre goes. I mean is it anti-feminist to write an Alpha-male who throws a damsel (as smart, and capable as she may be) over his shoulder?

What do you think? Let me know in the comments because this is a conversation worth having…

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow-Up?

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I always find that question a bit odd, what do you want to be when you grow up?  It is especially odd when it is asked to small children. There are some people out there practically born knowing what they want to do for a living, and then there are those of us who are still trying to figure it out. I have a very dear friend, practically family, who is a generation older than I am and she still often jokes about what she wants to do when she “grows-up.” I love this idea because I am not one of those lucky individuals who was born knowing what I want to do, it has taken a long time to find my passion. We are always growing, and that is a good thing.

Growing up I was taught that life was something you survived, it happened to you but not as an active participant, but a passive one. When I met my husband I remember him telling me how backward this idea was. I had never seen one make goals, and actively work in life to achieve them, in a big way. Not long after we had started dating, I had to leave college, my parents were paying for me to attend a private art school, and simply could not afford for me to go back. I was devastated. I took a job as a hostess in a Greek-owned restaurant, it was an experience, to say the least. The point was, I was miserable. I felt like I was being resigned to a fate that I did not want, to be poor and uneducated. I remember complaining about it one day to my boyfriend, who became my husband. He turned to me and said, “it is your life, if you do not like it, change it.” I dismissed him and started to rattle off all of the excuses why I couldn’t change it. He stopped me, and repeated it again, and said, “Jack, you are in charge of your life, it is up to you to make it what you want it to be, no one else.” That time it clicked.

That concept hit hard, and I realized that if I wanted things to change, it would be me that would have to change them. My parents, friends or extended family weren’t going to have to do it for me, I was going to have to make changes for myself. It wasn’t an overnight change in habit, but eventually, I began to stop blaming others and re-focus my energy in making real and lasting changes in my life. Five years ago, I took the biggest step and walked away from a dangerous, abusive relationship with a family member. I made the choice, I took the step. It was incredibly difficult but I found that I was so much stronger than I ever thought I could have been.

Once I was away, from that dangerous and dysfunctional situation, my life really did change for the better. I am not going to say it was easy, it wasn’t at all. But it was a springboard for me, catapulting me to begin to have dreams and desires. I was living in “survival mode” for so long, I couldn’t fully grab onto my own life. My point here is, that really only within the past eighteen months have I began to search and make conscious decisions about what and who I want to be when I “grow up.” I have begun to find my dreams again, old ones and discover new ones.

What I find so interesting about all of this, is more than anything I want to be a published author, and be successful enough to support myself that way. I have taken control and written a work that I am immensely proud of, did all of the research I could about querying, and have started querying to find a literary agent. Here is where the irony comes in, I have done everything in my power to make the dream a reality, but now it is out of my hands. I am having to be a passive participant, hoping an agent sees something in me to pick me up as a client. To say that this is a difficult process is an understatement. Please do not misunderstand, this is not a complaint, but merely an observation. Having been a linebacker in my own life, pushing through what I want, it is hard to wait for the ball to be passed, and the touchdown to be scored. (Sorry if the football analogy doesn’t’ make any sense, I am rubbish at sports.)

At this point in my life, and only at this point in my life have I figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a bestselling author, publishing romance novels, and spreading love one story at a time. So, my growing-up and learning continue, in a new life lesson, knowing when to move the ball down the field and when to pass it to the next person who can!